


Although You're Gone

by roi_de_lunivers



Category: Banana Fish (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Future, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Assassination, Blood, Canon Compliant, Canon-Typical Violence, Crying, Denial, How Do I Tag, I Made Myself Cry, I'm Bad At Tagging, M/M, Mentioned Ash Lynx, Mentioned Shorter Wong, Sad, Sad and Beautiful
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-10
Updated: 2020-11-10
Packaged: 2021-03-09 03:02:13
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,972
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27497629
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/roi_de_lunivers/pseuds/roi_de_lunivers
Summary: Sing's life was filled with fleeting happiness until he decided to help Lee Yut-Lung. He didn't know that would soon come to an end as well.
Relationships: Lee Yut-Lung/Sing Soo-Ling
Comments: 5
Kudos: 25





	Although You're Gone

**Author's Note:**

> I made this for a friend <3 Love u, Jess

_A gunshot rang through the night, no cry was followed by the sound, just silence that was so loud it would hurt anyone's ears. There lie Lee Yut-Lung, blood soaking the pavement and creating a puddle around his head. He hadn't been allowed a last word or a simple goodbye to the man that was currently waiting for him back at his home. If he had known he would be dead today, he would have made sure to tell him that he was sorry, that he loved him. But, sadly, he had been oblivious to the assassin. They lurked in the shadows and got him just as he finished picking up the takeout he had ordered upon Sing's request. Now he was gone. Faint screaming could be heard as a passerby saw the scene, more and more people gathering around the body. If it were up to Yut-Lung, he would have died in a much more dramatic way and by his own hands, this was just upsetting.  
  
_The news spread quickly, Sing hadn't been expecting it at all, in fact, a part of him was still waiting for Yut-Lung to walk through that door and say, ' _Ha! I got you!'_ But he knew he wouldn't, he knew deep down he was gone for good. There would be no more late nights filled with soft laughter, no rare smiles, no stupid cat ears from Halloween. There would be no more them. And he had never gotten to tell the other just how much he meant to him. Just how much he loved and wanted to be with him. This was it. He was alone. _Ash, Lao, Shorter.. Everyone was fading right before his eyes and he couldn't stop it._ That numb feeling was starting to fade, it being replaced with such an intense pain that he wondered if he was actually dying or not. _For a second, he wished he was._ When the tears started, they had no intention of stopping, nothing could soothe the man. His body just shook violently and his breathing was erratic, silently wishing to himself that he was that small boy again so he could just curl up in a ball and never come out of it. It seemed like things were moving much too quickly now, his brain hardly functioning. One second he was in New York trying to hold onto whatever was left of Yut-Lung's scent around the bedroom and the next he was seated on Eiji's couch in Japan, a warm teacup being placed delicately in his large hands.   
  
"We don't have to talk about what happened if you don't want to." Eiji's voice sounded different, older and more wise then it had been the last time he heard from him.  
  
"I took all of that time for granted." Sing stated, eyes focused on one of the photographs of Ash on the others wall. "If I would have _known-_ "   
  
"Don't do that to yourself, it'll only hurt worse in the long run. Trust me." And he would, he would trust Eiji because he _understood_ , he felt the absolute heartache of losing someone you cherish so dearly. He understood the feeling of emptiness that would never truly fade.   
  
"I should have told him, Eiji." His voice broke at the end, tears blurring his vision as the teacup clattered to the floor, his hands flying up to hold his head. How could something like this hurt so bad? He had been surrounded by death for so long but this.. this was an entirely new feeling.   
  
"We have that in common then," Eiji started, tilting his head to the side, his bangs falling into his eyes and obscuring his vision as he did so, "I never told Ash I loved him." It still hurt to say his name but it was getting better, he knew it wouldn't heal completely but with time, it would fade into a bearable ache.   
  
"I was.. Going to tell him that day. I was going to ask him if we could _try._ I know that's what he would want deep down, but something tells me he just wanted me there in general. I really let him down this time, didn't I?"   
  
"No, of course not. You had no way of knowing what was going to happen. Don't think like that."  
  
But what if he had known? What if there were signs that he saw that he had never pieced together? Had Sing overlooked the way someone looked at Yut-Lung? Would he have been able to save him if he just paid closer attention to it all? He could have stopped Ash's demise the same way, if he had just known Lao was feeling that way then he could have stepped in and saved Eiji the pain. Right? It was his fault they were both in so much pain, he knew it was.   
  
"Before you say anything else, it isn't your fault." Eiji spoke up as if he had been reading his thoughts, eyes soft and caring as Sing peaked out at him, tears sliding down his cheeks. _"Everything happens for a reason whether we like it or not."_

Hands were reaching out now, it was as if Eiji was trying to lift that weight from his shoulders as his arms wrapped around Sing, the taller man relaxing in his arms. He didn't even realise how exhausted he had been until now. "Fate is a horrible thing but not knowing is so much better than seeing. If you were with Yut-Lung when it happened, he would have felt worse, those images would never fade from your head and you'd blame yourself even more. You would have been so close but still too far to do anything." His words hit deep, stabbing into his heart forcefully and all Sing could do was nod right now. He supposed he was lucky then, some people had to watch their loved ones be torn apart but he had been spared that sight. He wouldn't have been able to take it if he had seen it anyway, he wasn't as strong as he made himself out to be. 

"Is it ever going to stop?" He barely managed to get it out, voice so quiet anyone would have missed it if they weren't listening for it. It earned a small sigh from Eiji, a hand tangled in the others short hair as he tried to make the man relax more.   
  
"No, it won't. But it _will_ get better. I promise you that, Sing." He had no reason not to trust Eiji, everything he said was so real that it made him want to hold onto it forever. Despite the older males heart being broken as well, Sing still wanted to climb into his chest and take shelter there just so he could bathe in the mans warm. It was bad to think, he didn't want Eiji to suffer but he didn't want to do this alone anymore. He couldn't.   
  
"Can I stay for awhile?" The question came out long before his brain could even process it. He wasn't even sure Eiji was financially stable enough to support two people and a dog but.. he really hoped he was.   
  
"Stay for as long as you need, Sing. You're always welcome." There it was. That smile that everyone fell in love with, that smile that drew people in and made them feel safe. Sing couldn't help but force a smile of his own, it wasn't as genuine as Eiji's but just knowing he would always be there for him really helped him in his time of crisis.   
  
**___  
  
_**Sing found himself sat at a desk nearly three months later, the faint sound of Eiji humming in the kitchen filling his ears as he stared down at the letter he had just written. It wouldn't be shipped off anywhere, it wouldn't even be opened again, it was just a way to help Sing through all of this. He wanted to say all of the things he wasn't able to and after all this time, he finally would.   
  
_'Dear Yut-Lung,  
  
__Time and time again, I hear your voice in my dreams and in the crowds here in Japan. I know I'll never see you here but sometimes I hope your face pops up among the sea of people. I'm writing to you because I miss you, because I wanted to say so much to you. Firstly, I was never mad that you kept taking my sweaters, I thought you looked pretty cute every time. I know that's probably not what you expected so I guess I should probably get to the real stuff. ~~I was in~~ ~~I love~~ I'm in love with you. I always have been and always will be. I was just so oblivious to it even though it was literally spelled out for me a few times, I guess I really am an idiot. You'd be so happy to hear me say that if you were here, I just know it. You'd laugh at me and say 'I told you so!' Like you always did when I said you were right. God, you were so frustrating sometimes. You were so dramatic. Remember when I accidentally pulled your hair too hard with the brush and you said you'd never let me touch your hair again and even **cried?** Then ten minutes later I was braiding your hair while you watched tv. Oh, do you remember those trick or treaters? They had said you were beautiful and they were right. You were so beautiful I could hardly stand it sometimes. I'm being really sappy right now, I know, I know. You hate that kind of thing. But still, I just need you to know I'll never forget any of these moments even if someone tries to beat it out of my skull. I could never forget someone that made me so happy. I could never forget the person who drank with me on my fifteenth birthday and gave me my first kiss at eighteen. I won't be able to forget the close nights where we laid together and just listened to each other's heartbeats, or the way you would lazily roll over and pretend you weren't curled into me even though we both knew we loved that. I'm starting to tear up now so I guess I'll end this by saying, although you're gone, I still wake up every morning expecting to see your face two inches away from mine with your hair a mess everywhere because neither of us bothered to put it up before bed. I miss you more and more everyday.   
_

_-love, sing soo-ling'_

In the envelope was a printed out photo from several years ago, Yut-Lung had been watching a movie and Sing captured a picture of him from the side. The light had been hitting him just the right way and had made him look almost ethereal, it was his most prized possession by this point but somehow leaving it in this sealed letter had made him feel a bit of peace, like he was moving on just a little bit. Like it wouldn't hurt not to stare at the picture for more than ten seconds. He would miss him always because.. They had been soulmates, hadn't they? That's what it felt like. With a tear streaked face, Sing had moved away from the desk and into the kitchen, placing his chin onto Eiji's shoulder as he watched him chop at some onions. They both fell into a quiet conversation about dinner, a relaxing aura encasing the two of them. If they could see spirits, they would be able to see all three of their lost friends smiling fondly at them for the very last time before fading into nothing. With time, everything will fade, even the sadness. 


End file.
